I am not that "big" on holidays (except those having to do with my faith). If you have any doubts, ask Marla. I don't do good with presents or remembering. And although I love cards (especially handmade ones), you won't find me standing in the front of the Hallmark card rack in Target–unless it is to grab one of my youngest children who is pulling greeting cards out by the handful.
But there is one secular holiday (actually officially recognized by Congress in 1913) that is special to me, it's Father's Day.
For those who know our family, that's probably not a surprise given that I am a father eight times over. I like to say we are a far better than average family (and I'm just not talking about the statistical average of children per family!)
There is hardly a sweeter sound to me (this side of Heaven) than to hear one of my children call me, "Daddy." Granted it's not all that special at 2:00 in the morning, that is until I stumble to their bedside and am able to help them relax after a bad dream.
Hudson, who has been home just over a month, doesn't call out for me by name in the night but on more than a few evenings he will just whimper quietly in his bed.
Sometimes I will lay next to him so that he can feel my presence or I will sit on the floor by his bed with my hand on his chest. A few times he has reached out and held my hand. But then he drifts back to sleep. It's at that point that I no longer chafe at being awakened from a deep sleep. My little boy needed me.
Hudson just wants to know that he is not alone, that there is someone nearby who has his back, so to speak. Like all little boys and girls who were orphaned, Hudson comes from a hard place, even if he was well-cared for where he was. (And we are confident he was.)
He wasn't home. He wasn't with his mommy and daddy. He didn't have anything that was definitively his.
When we met Gracee, James, and Hudson, they literally only came with the clothes on their back, which were more often than not the incorrect size and were mismatched. We could say these were loaner clothes. I've heard of some orphanage personnel asking for the clothes back from adoptive parents, to help clothe another child. Orphanages are not places of high style; most are barely getting by and focusing on caring for the children as best as they can.
And that's the way I came to my Heavenly Father. There was nothing I could bring to the relationship that He didn't already have and was willing to bless me with. I was a spiritual orphan; we all are. We came from a hard place and were on track for the most hard place, apart from a life-saving encounter with a loving God.
I am grateful that when I call out, He doesn't grumble about being bothered but makes His presence known to me. He will hold my hand. I might feel all alone but I'm not. He's there–always.
I call the brick and mortar structure we live in my "home," but it really isn't. I have a place in Glory. There is nothing that is definitively mine here. I just think it is. It's all His.
It's rather overwhelming, if you focus on it just a bit, to consider that name-wise, it's just a capital letter between me and the Eternal God–father versus Father. That might be a quirk of the English language. But nonetheless that's where the comparison really stops.
Yet it's a high calling to be a dad, a calling I don't take nearly as serious as I should. And with eight children, you'd think by now I would have figured it out. But to little Hudson, to Gracee and James, and even to my five "older" children, what they think of God–right or wrong–is colored in great part by who I am. Perhaps it means Father's Day is a little important than I ever imagined.